Praying I don’t violate lashon hara
The gravity of lashon hara is immense. Fear of Lashon Hara with trembling to the core was enough to keep my mouth shut for well over forty years. Worried about my portion in the World to Come: Who will say Kaddish for me? Finally, after looking coming death in the face, I decided that the World to Come is more important than whether I get there. So in conscious acceptance of forfeit according to some, with this disgusting ZOA adulation of a mangy rabid Cujo, enough. I’m talking before I can’t. I can only pray that in this talking, I don’t lose my own humility in an intoxication of my own words. And that my loss if necessary will be to the merit of elders of blessed memory.
Everything I say here I’ve thought for decades, but in Awe, and more introspectively in fear of personal loss, I have not gone down this path. Hoping and praying those with better credentials and resumés would stand up and make it both loud and clear to the world that there is another way than hate that we can choose, from free Will. I’m painfully aware that by choosing to speak up for my truth, some will say that my portion in the World to Come is forfeit, and that staying silent is prudent when I’m obligated to judge to the merit rather than in the negative. And that even if what I say is true, that I should still remain silent and continue to pray and leave the truth to His light of day, or my betters. That I should not shame, even those who have committed every fibre of their being to leading others away from the path of the traditions by shaming.
It is my fervent belief that we are in a crisis of militarism, and that we all need to speak up as forcefully as possible to stop more humans from losing their Souls to faith in things. I find it particularly distressing that these faiths in things are being marketed in The Holy Name, arrogantly and cavalierly, as using a can-opener. That is more my objection than the militarism itself. To me, The Holy Name is being shamelessly desecrated, as never before, and there’s been too much respect, too much deference in pursuit of not airing dirty laundry in public. I worry that generations are being confronted with either embracing this militarism or being in opposition to it or dulling their sensitivity to the Shekhinah to the point that as the dead don’t feel the cutting of the knife, the dead of compassion for all suffering aren’t really feeling their own.
There is another way that I’m attempting to represent in these ‘secular‘ attempts, that as ghost dancers, returning to the path of the traditions in these ever more troubling times will save this world, its afflicted, and bring the World to Come. Ironically, portion at stake, everything I say here is about the World to Come. That to bring the light we will turn to the light.
I considered myself both unqualified and ill-advised to have opinions beyond a commitment to improving observance. Doubting hate as a qualification, I am speaking while praying I don’t violate lashon Hara or reverence in this rewrite of my flawed 1973 thesis The Absolute-Unity and Unity. That was a culmination of a life-time of philosophizing that I left with the decision that dialectical analysis, no matter how deep and wide, was inadequate to convey My Shekhinah; most important to my understanding but not a thought.
In full circle, I imagine myself as astride two worlds, one that I say transcends that of words and talking and logic, and another that’s all about relentless logic, ruthlessly driving to reduce thoughts as things to a binary choice in a duality, for clarity. In short, when between two impossibilities, we will find His possible. Our afflicted familiy in The Holy Land is between two impossibilities, and so are we with them. In my weariness and my plight, should I forget thee, may the light between my eyes forsake me. I will not abandon them in their affliction. Cannot turn my back and forget. And as in every doing the right thing, against interest and personal care, He will decide.
Baal Shem Tov
My favorite Hasidic story is the one where the portion in the World to Come is forfeit for disobediently doing the right thing for the rejoiner of the freedom from self-concern in the future, portion already forfeit. So is it here. Portion already forfeit, aware that I won’t make it, yes brought by wrath, I throw these words against tablets of hate being handed down from what’s being pushed as on high.
We’re in a crisis of militarism as the consciousness of the world is increasing every day. Today, this militarism is this new religion is accepted as natural, normal, ‘defense,’ And I was willing to rationalize all of it and judge to the merit. As I am prone, I walked in the shoes of Herzl’s Soul, a much vilified figure, and felt his anguish in compassion for his afflicted people. In a gut-wrenching compression of despair, I felt the agony of generations set upon as the other, the vilified for being in Awe finding no respite in losing their souls to faith in power money might. In assimilation.
Until it became apparent to me that as a train out of control, any semblence of compassion for humanity has been rejected firmly and beyond that irrevocably, so that all of us are being pressed up against a wall of going along or standing up. I don’t think anyone has a choice not to choose anymore. More than a message against militarism, mine is a message of observance not as a confinement, a straight-jacketing like a prisoner who’s been in handcuffs so many times they hold their hands together out of habit, even when free.
Genuine freedom is the freedom to do the right thing, regardless of the suffering we may bear in doing so. We practice doing the right thing in our fences. We practice for that unexpected game moment when we’re called upon to win the game with the do the right thing lightning from above, that brings the Shekhinah. Frail in my humanity, I don’t imagine that my voice is an ideal presentation or perfect in any dimension. I’m guilty of being too old to try to find the right words and just use whatever pops out of the open wound in my soul that weeps for all those who are being led down a path of destruction in pursuit of the illusory freedom of power, that cannot save.
Through time, there’s been an argument of rationalism versus the Shekhinah. For some, as Herr Ratzinger’s initial speech talking of Logos, or in the A.M.E. ‘bringing the devil in‘ with a seminary trained preacher. The movement of the spirit – the doing to get out of your head to listen to the Shekhinah and see with the soul is in contrast to the idea that cold sterile Greek Aristotelian logical contemplation is the path to holiness.
Cain not his brother’s keeper, so much more so for lesser subjects of dominion; justification needn’t rely on definition of brother. Our question is not only am I my brother’s keeper, but are they are brothers? The interpretation that they aren’t is existentially untenable by the already realized in His time of the wolf dwelling with the lamb. Reality is that we’re all connected, every occurrence, the people of the past, and into the future. Reform brings the same value as my Orthodoxy as we unify both in halakha and aggadot.
There are civilizations within all civilizations that live by man-as deity Authoritarian dominion, in opposition to those who yearn for egalitarian Justice tempered with Compassion for merciful peace. I use the term looking as a continuous state of being distinct from worship that implies a discrete activity, possibly ritual. Some do the activity of their nominal religion, and walk away in a metareligion.
Tune Out People of Hate
While murderers have gathered in Birds of a Feather common cause throughout history, in this democracy, the stifling of anyone who raises their head by deviating from the party-line marketing talking points to sell their deific agenda is a primary step. A reason of the First Amendment that Federalists attack in principle by a virulent industry of edutainment propaganda. As monsters in a video game, they come from everywhere while hacking the game to render their opponents defenseless. These are the people of hate, the villains in this story of tuning them out to hear HaShem.
Save the Afflicted
To speak out for unity, the conventional wisdom of sides themselves become the issue. I have a side, against Hate. While the obligation is not to use lashon hara to create Hate, when that within is anlashon hara speaking to increase and maintain the hate to facilitate metareligious doctrines grounded in Idolatries that are counter to Awe of HaShem, while ever concerned, the obligation to speak out against injustice, that we will save the afflicted to enable His World to Come.
For all my prayers
The only answer I’ve had so far is a terse, ‘Don’t be scared.‘ I’m still scared for my mortal Soul, for us all, but press ahead in Perfect Faith.